Seinfeld Spin-off
KRAMER! On the road!
I was a late comer to the Seinfeld series. I didn’t start watching it until the 7th season.
I recall seeing Seinfeld on the Tonight show in the late ‘80s before the Seinfeld series was a thing. Although, Seinfeld was a newcomer at that time, he stood out and made a very big impression on me. He came across as self-assured and self-confident, so much so, that even though he was on a panel that included the likes of Jack Benny and George Burns he was unruffled and not even slightly intimidated. He seemed destined for greatness. Nevertheless, I was not a big Seinfeld fan. He was funny, yes. But, IMO, not that funny.
Eventually, though I became a fan of his show and like many others I have seen the Seinfeld series all the through more than once. In fact, near the end of his run, I started to send in story ideas. While I can not prove that I made a contribution to the program, a couple weeks after I sent in an idea about a UFO sighting and Kramer becoming abductee, Jerry and George opened the show trying to decide whether or not it would be better if abducted by aliens to be confined in zoo or in a circus? Prior to that episode, I mentioned to my landlord, that if they did any jokes about outer space that week, they got the idea from me. NO credit though.
Anyway, by the time the series ended I wanted it to continue so I came up with an idea for a spin-off. Since Kramer had already previously travelled to SoCal to become an actor (Murphy Brown), I wove that idea into an idea for a new series that featured Kramer in the starring role.
After being cleared of the bogus murder charges, Kramer decides to stay in LA and not return to NYC. He lucks out and gets a part on BayWatch, as a lifeguard. Unfortuitously, Kramer becomes so popular with the female life guards and the fans, that Hasselhoff becomes jealous and plots Kramer’s downfall. The Hoff has a jealous streak and rather than compete with Kramer, David forces Kramer into an early retirement.
While working along the coastline, Kramer inherits an RV from a long lost relative and takes up residence at Paradise Cove north of Malibu Jim Rockford like, (the Rockford files). Aside from some BayWatch hi-jinx, Kramer gets into and adopts the RV lifestyle big time. Most of his weekends he spends cruising the Sierra Nevadas and Death Valley.
Having been driven into exile by David Hasselhoff, Kramer seeks to re-invent himself again and becomes an itinerant nomad. The RV is equipped with hi-tech sound equipment left over from his recently deceased uncle who was a sound engineer in Hollywood. Kramer doesn’t realize what he's got at first. By accident, Kramer discovers that the sound equipment had been configured to record the sound of his wheels as the RV moves along the roadway surface. His deceased uncle was an avant garden musician. After Kramer discovers these recordings he becomes fascinated and obsessed with the rhythmic roadway sounds.
Kramer, being Kramer immediately recognizes the musical value of there recordings.. The various different roadway surfaces, over which the K’man’s RV traversed produced uniquely distinct sound effects. The surface textures produced a wide variety of unique beats, patterns and rhythms which inspired Kramer to set out to record, catalogue and document the myriad multitudes of roadway rhythms. Ultimately, Kramer travels all over North America, toiling at various part-time jobs, like a nomadic Richard Kimball, “the Fugitive”. CK becomes obsessessed with his new found avocation recording “roadway rhythms”. He gave a whole new meaning to colloquial “R&R”. Eventually, Kramer becomes a maestro of the road and is recognized as an avant garde composer of expressway Operas. An entirely new art form was born. He had finally found his true calling in life.
The episode for Seinfeld, about UFOs featured a series of mass UFO sightings in nearby Long Island. After the eastern seaboard is inundated by UFO/UAP sighting, Kramer begins to act noticeably different, morphing into a spooky version of his typical hipster doofus self. As it turns out, the UFOs were traveling back in Time specifically to locate Cosmo Kramer. It seems, Kramer, is destined, in the future to accomplish great things and become a key figure in Global Geo-politics…………………the central figure in a ruling cult, aligned with Aliens from outer space. As such, the future of the Earth depends on the survival and protection of Kramer, at this particular moment.. the present time. Ergo, the Aliens after much internal squabbling organize a rescue mission to travel back to the 20th century to set Kramer on the appropriate life course to insure the fulfillment of his destiny, eventually becoming the first World Governor of planet Earth, a key galactic “founding father” of a league of planets. After Kramer was informed of his destiny, he experiences a spiritual transformation. Picture a harmless Ming the Merciless.
Jerry, George and Elaine think that Cosmo has lost his mind and attempt to keep him grounded. However, they are all scooped up and taken back to the future where/when Kramer uses them to serve as his butler, maid and court jester!
The end.